Hmmmm ....

Faith has come home from work. We spoke a bit about how things went with the job interview today, and that was pretty well it. She wandered on through the house, changed clothes, and dove into her manuscript. I asked her if anything was wrong and she said no. I said that she had been pretty quite, and she said that she had had nothing to say.

So here I sit. Wondering. Again. It pisses me off. All I want is a little peace of mind. All I want is a little happiness, no matter how brief. I'm getting tired of this shit. I walk around with a hollow feeling in my chest. I ache and long for just a touch from her. Or an embrace. And I get nothing.

Sadly, there are some things that Patty said which come to mind, and even that pisses me off. Patty's words were so outrageous. Her accusations were so far fetched. And yet here I am, finding myself wondering, because Faith is acting just like Patty predicted. And I am thinking of that. I shouldn't have to. There shouldn't be anything there to doubt.

Jesus. Nothing should be this hard. Love shouldn't cause such pain. And I resent feeling this way. I resent that I am a child if I question anything. I resent being cast in the light of an innocent. I resent living alone. Surrounded by people.