I talked to Faith this morning. She and Patty are just about finished packing and should be on the road pretty soon. The next time I hear from them, they will be well on their way to St. Augustine. Thank God.

I don't think Faith is getting out totally undamaged, but at least this time it's no more than bruises. Mister Neanderthal Man had to make his mark, I suppose. The son of a bitch really has a lot to answer for, but I guess all I can do is hope God sticks to his end of the bargain and makes assholes like that pay for their transgressions.

He says he might give Faith back her stuff. Her manuscript and her research. In all my years I have met a lot of people. I have met many malevolent souls. But his is truly without conscience. Without remorse. I would gladly sell my soul just to see him burn in hell. But I shant. I will spend my life, or a time, with Faith and her kids. Seems like a good life. The elusive dream. And I won't have it spoiled by hatred. Or even enmity.

Faith asked me when I was coming down to St. Augustine. My heart says now. Go, boy! But there are some things that I have to take care of. First and foremost, I have no money for the trip, so my hands are tied until I can sell something. I had thought of asking Lo and Mom for help in some way, but I can't imagine what they could do, other than to help me to rent a U-Haul truck or something such as that.

Gathering the funds I need will take some doing. I had thought of seeing if Lo will help me secure some kind of loan until I can sell the equipment. Faith and I are certainly good for it. I have this equipment to sell and Faith has collateral. Basically put, I mean to say that paying it back would be no problem. The difficulties lie in convincing the powers that be that this is the case.

Oh, well. Cest' la vie. I'll do what I can do. Mike Peeler wants my 4-track. That would be $200. Enough to get me to St. Augustine. If worse came to worse, I could always take that money and just go, concentrating on selling the remainder of my things when I had made it to Florida.

I don't know. Things will work out. They always have and they always will. I've dragged my tail in packing, but now things have come to fruition. Faith is leaving for St. Augustine. It's permanent this time. After today, the situation will have changed, and it will be her waiting for me. That's a thought I hadn't considered before. For me it's always been a sense of the moves being in Faith's court, that my hands were, for the most part, tied until she had taken care of things in Albany.

I just hope she takes the time to acclimate the children to the idea of my presence. Especially PJ. It really wouldn't be very comfortable to just drive up. I can see it now. The kids would be outside playing when this big truck drove up, and out I would step. “Hello. I'm Kevin. I'll be living with you.” hehe. Maybe that's something I should mention.

Well. On to other things.

I'm supposed to go out with Rick and Cisie tomorrow. From what was said, I think the plan is to go get something to eat, and then to get drunk; possibly going to Pockets to shoot some pool and drink. It's my farewell thing, I suppose. I never thought about something like this before. Like Justice said, the thought of me moving had never crossed her mind, and it had never crossed mine either. Needless to say, it's a thought I fancy, but the goodbyes hadn't arisen in my mind.

I'm going to miss my friends. But they will always be a part of me. My heart is no longer here. It hasn't been in a long time. In going to St. Augustine, and Faith, I honestly feel like I'm going to journey into a realm where I was destined to exist. The opportunities are there. Musically. Artistically. And definitely the possibility, and likelihood, of spiritual awakening. For all intensive purposes, I am to be the head of a household. The father figure. The lover. It's a role I think all men long for, but it isn't one I ever expected to find myself in, and especially not in this manner. It's a frightening thought, even as it fills me with joy and wonder.

I need to say goodbye to my Dad. And my brother and sister. We haven't been close, but neither have we been enemies. I think I'll see if Dad will meet me for lunch one day. That would be nice. I had thought of getting together Sunday, but I want to spend sunday with Mom. I think it would be great if we spent it together, because there won't be another Sunday here. Come hell or high water, I am leaving next Thursday or Friday. I need to grasp what I can while I can.

I've been considering a way to honor everyone before I go. A way to make some small gesture of enduring friendship. I suppose the most obvious way would be to distribute my tapes. That's not quite what I had in mind, but it's something. Maybe I could also give everyone a copy of my music. No one has them. But atop any thoughts such as that, there should be a personal way of touching each one of them. A personal way of saying goodbye. Here is something to remember me by.

Well. I'll think of something. I guess the foremost thing on my mind should be packing. Now that certain things are resolved, I have to get the ball rolling. Time is running ...