I went to the cafe to write tonight. Well ... last night. It's technically Sunday morning, although I haven't let go of Saturday yet. Anyway, I went up there and wrote a bit. It was slow going, and I may not have gotten more than a few pages out of it, but I think it's alright. Of course, there is going to be a lot of editing. In reviewing it, I would say that about half of what I have written can be deleted in the final draft. Economy of motion and all that. A lot of what I wrote wasn't needed. A lot was pointless. But the basics are there, and that was the whole idea to begin with. To write the basics on paper and then do some major editing when I put it into the computer.

Oh, well. It's started, anyway.

I rode around a bit after I left the cafe. I wandered onto the highway, which felt good. I think the travelling jones has got me. I don't want to be here. I hate it. I really can't believe that I'm right back where I started. I thought moving to Florida with Faith was the start of something new, even if it didn't work out. I thought I was free at last. And now ... here I am ... in North Carolina ... broke
again, and drifting in my dreams.

Jesus. I really thought Faith would give a fuck. I thought she'd give me that at least. But she's safe back in her own little world. I think the safety is what she wanted, anyway. Maybe Mark is right. Maybe I was just a fling. I don't know anymore. Before I would have argued the point. But the fact that I've returned and she hasn't as much as called says a lot.

Not that it matters now. I guess I'm just listless. I'm really aching to get something going. Anything. Just to make a little progress. Mark thinks I can get back on at Danalex, so I'm going to put in an application Monday. As a matter of fact, I'm going everywhere. I need to get some money coming in. I can't begin to repair the damage, and start to arrange for a return trip to Florida, until I get a job.

Sound familiar? Guess I'm back at square one. In so many goddamn ways ...