Monday morning. I'm at home in Kings Mountain. It seems so strange to say that. Especially under the circumstances. But at this point I think it's a done deal.

I'm trying to work up the nerve to call USX and talk to my dispatcher, Rhonda. I'm not afraid to talk to them (what are they going to do, fire me?), but I'm not looking forward to the conversation. For one thing, I'm sure USX will try to get me to do something stupid. There was already mention from the one person I talked to about picking up a load that gets me through Tunnel Hill (to turn the truck in).

The problem with that is that I don't trust USX. After all, I'm quitting the company because I haven't drawn a paycheck in three weeks. So if they give me a load that heads straight to Georgia, I'll run it down there. But if they give me something that delivers in Chicago, for example, and they say they'll work me down to Tunnel Hill, the deal is off. I'm not going to risk them routing me through the Medway terminal in Ohio because it's closer to where I'm at and putting me out of my truck there. It'll be a lot easier to find a way home from Georgia than from Ohio. Although at this point even Georgia looks problematic.

I'm full of doubt here. My decision was made after a lot of frustration at not being able to find out anything from USX (a recurring problem). I tried to call Benny L___ repeatedly Thursday and Friday to find out why I didn't get paid. I also tried to call Rhonda all day Friday (when I finally made my decision) to talk about returning the truck. Nada. I can't get hold of anyone. Except for a few calls I got about the load I was under (which I delivered Saturday) from some people I'd never heard of, I haven't heard a peep from USX. So I supposed that whatever doubts I might have about my decision to leave the company should be looked at through that prism. We're in desperate financial straights here, and I can't get hold of anyone at USX that can tell me why I didn't get paid.

I feel really positive about this change, though. However difficult it may be in the short term, I really need it. I've begun to feel like I made some unholy pact with demons where USX is concerned. As I asked Mara, what do the have to do to me? How much is too much? Or as I summed it up another way, I'm simply tired of these people pissing on me and telling me I should be grateful because it's warm.

Well, I should go get this done. I hope USX realizes that the ball is in my court here. I certainly have no intention of just getting out of the truck. For one thing, I don't want it on my record that I abandoned a truck. But at the same time, I'm not going to jump through hoops for them. I would say that I've been patient with U.S. Xpress enough already.