Day 16 of my FEMA captivity. I'm about to go to the truckstop up the road to freshen up. I'm getting angrier by the day that I'm forced to sit on this load. For one thing, it's hurting us (meaning Mara and I). I'm not getting paid because I'm still on a Pro number that can't be closed out. It seems that my trailer is being used for storage, because they're certainly not sending me anywhere. I'm so fed up with this shit at this point that I've begun to entertain ideas of quitting my job, just to get out from under this FEMA shit. USX doesn't even write me anymore. I might as well not exist as far as they're concerned. And why should they care? They get paid for the use of the truck whether it goes anywhere or not. In this vein, everytime I complain about being forced to sit here like this, someone always says “you're being paid $175 a day,” as if that's all that matters.

I'm a very patient person when it comes to stuff like this. But how long do they think someone can live in a box like this? It's one thing to be driving and going somewhere, but to just sit here for days on end is just mind-numbing. If I were at a truckstop with working Internet or something, at least I could escape into Everquest. But the truckstop up the road doesn't have a connection. They wouldn't want me to sit up there anyway. I went up there Monday night and stayed there because of the curfew. Tuesday morning USX sent me a message saying that my trailer was sinking in the ashphalt here and that I'd better get back over here. When I arrived, there was nothing wrong. So apparently they don't even want us leaving the property.

On one hand I like to think that maybe I could use this time to get some writing done, but I just don't seem to be in the mood. I'm angry. I'm tired of this shit. We have bills that need to be paid, and we can't pay them because I'm not making any money. That $175 a day is all well and good in theory, but I won't get that until this load finals. In the meantime we're just being left to our own devices. Enough is enough already.