Well, I'm as frustrated as ever. I talked to K__ at USX this morning. She was told by Volvo that they had gone all through the front end of that truck and could find nothing wrong with it. This susprised me. I've been driving that truck for almost a year and a half, and something is most definitely wrong with that front end.

Well, Mara called Volvo for me to see if the truck was ready. I called them several times today and kept getting put on hold, with no one ever coming back to me. So she called and got through. Volvo told Mara that USX had told them to check out the front end, but to not look too closely.

This is the problem I've been having all along. At this point I believe that USX is putting me back behind the wheel of a truck that is not safe. I'm willing to drive it because I'm afraid of what might happen if they put someone else in it; possibly someone who doesn't have my experience and is more likely to make a terrible mess of things if something does go wrong. I know that sounds self-important. I'm not trying to present myself as some benelovent saint, and I realize it sounds a bit like me blowing smoke up my own ass. But I genuinely believe that it's safer for me to drive that truck because I know it so well. It has about 287,000 miles on it, and every mile was put on there by Mara and I.

I also have another reason for staying put. USX thus far has offered me no alternative other than to get into an older truck, and a Freightliner at that. That last truck they tried to give me was a 2002 model. Egads. How many miles did that truck have on it? How many issues has that truck had? See? I'm not willing to give up a known quantity for an unknown one.

I called K__ back at USX and told her what Volvo had said about being told not to look too closely. I told her I was afraid of this truck, and that I just wanted her to make a note of what Volvo had told us. At least that way if something should go wrong (God forbid) it would be on record that I had tried my best to have this issue resolved, and that someone at USX had stopped me at every turn.

If I had any damned sense in the world I would tell them to take their truck and shove it, and I would find something else to do. But I don't think Mara would ever allow that. As much as she professes to love me, she'd rather I took my chances with this truck and put some money in the bank. On the phone she said “well, you've been looking for an excuse to quit.” That hurt. When I protested she said “It's true.” Maybe so. Well, if it is true, I think I found a damned good excuse. Her saying that just hurt me because the inference was that I'm making a big deal out of nothing to find an excuse to quit my job.

So basically, fuck me. Who cares if I die, right?

Now we have to figure out a way to get the truck back home. We have to get it tomorrow because Volvo is closed on the weekends. Our only choices are to either go up there before Mara goes to work tomorrow or for her to get off work early. Either way, Mara is not going to be happy. That also means that I'm in for a rough ride, no matter what.

No pun intended.