I'm about to lay down for a bit. Looking at what time it is, it probably doesn't appear that I'm getting ready to leave again. But I figure the truck isn't going to be ready until this afternoon (if it's ready by then). I'm hoping I can get USX to let me leave tomorrow morning. But if they don't force something onto me this evening, they'll probably call at 02:00 tomorrow morning with something that has to pick up by 02:30 a hundred miles away.

My dispatcher made unhappy noises when I told her about the truck last Thursday. She wrote the following;

"I have pta out til Monday but I need to find u a trk if not ready Monday. This is crazy and u'r miles are bad and I want to fix it."

That's satcom speak, by the way. USX requires its office personnel to condense every message as much as possible to keep down on costs. Not a good sign for the stability of the company, huh? Anyway, that's the way it goes. They don't mind a driver sitting up in Wisconsin for two days waiting for a load, but you let that driver sit at home and suddenly everyone's in an uproar to get him rolling again.

So we'll see. I'm not switching trucks. I'll quit before I do that. Mara and I earned this truck. We worked our asses off on Ray's board and we earned this truck. I'm not about to let USX switch me over to one of their crappy Freightliners because some button pusher in Chattanooga can't stand the fact that this unit has been idle for a few days longer than anyone expected. I've thought this through, and I've already decided that if I'm put in that position to choose between keeping my truck and leaving the company, I'm gone. About the only thing keeping me on the road at this point is the fact that I have my little table set up in the back of that Volvo and I'm clinging to the idea that I might write or something during my downtime on the road. Without that one little morsel, USX' stock in my eyes is worthless on a personal level. The prospect of writing is the only that's kept me with them, and I just don't think I could write crunched over in the sleeper of a Freightliner.

This is probably a non-issue, but it's one I feel strongly about. USX doesn't give me many reasons to want to stay with them. That truck is a very good reason. Take that away and I just don't have much reason to stay put. Not that I want to sit. Well, I would like to sit if I could win the lottery and not have to worry about money. But until then I need to work. Which means I need to leave. I'm just in no hurry to leave with a broken truck or to switch over to another truck that would constitute inheriting someone else's problems.

We need to do something soon, though. Mara has been released from work but she hasn't gone looking yet. I think she's waiting for me to leave. That makes sense. I just pulled up another browser window to look at our checking account, and I'm terrified to do so. The last either of us looked, we had around $20 in the bank. That was after I got paid last Friday.

Okay, that was a mistake. Right now our checking account is negative $90. In the past couple of weeks Bank of Fucking America has hit us for $270 in overdraft fees. Goddamn! Hell, if it hadn't been for their goddamned overdraft fees we would never have gone in the negative to begin with. $270. My God. I only brought home $591 last week. I thought it was a good week.

We've tried to insulate Mama from this as much as possible. She worries enough as it is. She'd never get another night's sleep if she knew how bad things really are. I supose in a way looking at the checking account has helped me. I was inclined to linger before I saw our balance. Now I'd be willing to leave in the next 30 minutes if the truck was ready and they had a load for me.

But I'm still not giving up my truck. I'm at that point. I don't care how bad things get here at home, the only positive thing that I have left concerning USX is that truck. Without that, I'm done. Now let's just hope that the truck is ready this afternoon. Let's hope that USX will let me leave in the morning instead of rushing me out the door this afternoon or this evening. And let's hope they run my ass off from then on.

Naturally USX will do something to fuck at all up.