I'm about to go bury one of our cats. Well, one of Mama's cats. Carrot (as we called him). Peanut (as Mama called him). He had feline leukemia and we had to have him put to sleep. No one seems very upset about it. Carrot never really let anyone get very close to him. Quite frankly, he wasn't very friendly to anyone. The best Mama could come up with was "Peanut's no trouble to anybody." That was true. Pretty much all you had to do was feed him. Beyond that, he didn't have much to do with any of us.

I had sort of hoped that this would come out as an eloquent eulogy or something, but I just don't have it in me right now. A lot is up in the air in our lives. They didn't call us about the truck today, and we made the dubious decision against inquiring about it. We're enjoying a bit of a break from the grind of our dedicated run. But I admit that I'm beginning to panic a little bit. If U.S. Xpress decided to fire us and told the Volvo shop that we were no longer associated with that truck, they'd have no reason to call us. And while I admit that's a little paranoid, under the circumstances I don't think it's as wild as it might seem.

We need to call U.S. Xpress tomorrow and figure out what the hell is going on. Did Ray fuck us up? Do we have a job with U.S. Xpress? If so, whose board are we on and when will we be leaving? I have a sinking feeling that Ray will do whatever he can to cause us problems because we refused to be manipulated by him. I'm concerned of what kind of payback Ray can give us.