Mara pissed me off today. I know, it's hard to imagine Mara pissing me off, isn't it? She went by the house to pick up some things. While she was there Mama asked her something about how this thing worked out with the court and the consent order (that they told me on May 18th that I needed to make a payment by May 1st). Mara said something to the effect of I could find out these things if I wasn't “chickenshit.”

Excuse me? What the hell is she talking about? I've been driving Countrywide and Mara's lawyer crazy trying to find out information. Nobody will tell me anything because it's all tied up with Mara's bankruptcy. And what little Mara has told me herself has invariably turned out to be wrong.

The only time in my life I've been chickenshit is when I didn't boot Mara out on her ass when she had her “thing” with Bobby. That was pretty much the end of our marriage. And from that day on Mara acted like a petulant child who had discovered that Daddy might threaten to spank her, but he really never would.

Right now I'm firmly convinced that Mara is delusional. How else could she tell lies about me and believe they're the truth? How else could she become indignant when I yelled at her for never delivering on a single one of the documents that she promised me, and declare that she's told me everything “every step of the way.” I guess it's not her fault that the story keeps changing, huh?

All I need to know about who and what Mara is can be summed up with the issue with the insurance on the van she's driving. She told me ahead of time that the insurance was coming through, but said that she was going to deposit some money to cover it. She never did. And when the insurance came through it drove the checking account into the red. I bailed it out with my own money. I paid her insurance. She never paid me back, nor has she offered to. And she never realized that the whole time I knew that she had $300 in a savings account. To add insult to injury, she has since deposited another $50 to the account.

Mara is using a cellphone that my money has kept on. She ran up over $200 in charges, mostly to someone who I imagine is her boyfriend in Vancouver, B.C. And she hasn't offered me a penny. Just as Mara has done with everything else, she's made a lot of promises that she has no intention of keeping.

Worst of all, the circumstantial evidence points to Mara intentionally painting me into a corner so that I would lose the house. Why else would she tell me I didn't have another payment until June when she had to know full well I had one due in May? Where the hell could she had possibly gotten this shit about June if she didn't make it up? Does she expect me to believe that her attorney is that incompetent?

I'll tell you what the hell happened. Her attorney told Mara exactly what was going on. Mara chose not to pass that information along.

Mara told me not long ago that “whatever you want to believe, I am not evil.” Well, from what I see, the evidence says she is. Only someone who is evil could withhold information from someone who is begging for it, and then call them chickenshit because they trusted her when she told them her lies.

I'm beginning to think that if Mara doesn't have multiple personalities, she is at the very least a pathological liar. If nothing else, I'm certain that the word “pathos” is aptly attributed here. At this point she cannot distinguish between reality and fantasy. Maybe she believes that she is her character from Everquest, and that all this other stuff, like me and the house, is just some game she no longer wishes to play.

The most annoying thing there is that her main character's name in Everquest was taken from a character from one of my books. At this moment, that offends me in ways that I can't describe.