I've almost decided to sell the house. I'm still debating it. There are good arguments for and against it. But what I keep coming back to is that while it may be true that keeping the house would work in my favor credit-wise, the only way to do that would be to rent it out. Whether I keep it or sell it, the end result is the same. I'll be homeless, living out of a truck. The only difference is that I'll be homeless with a house payment. So I guess what I want to do is walk away clean and regroup. Emotional attachments be damned.

I have to admit that I'm rather bitter that Mara seems to have no idea what she has cost me here. Or if she does she doesn't lose any sleep over it. It hurts me the way she perks up whenever I talk about selling the house. She's all for it. But she would be. Selling the house would resolve most of her responsibilities. She would be young (28), single and free.

However she might try to spin it and whine about having a bankruptcy against her, the fact remains that the heaviest price paid for her restlessness and selfishness was paid by those left behind in the debris when Mara burned her bridges and walked away. Mama's going to go live in a government subsidized seniors community. I'm going to go live in a truck. Where's Mara going? To Las Vegas.

Someone please tell me how I can not be bitter when I put my home up for sale.