I've realized that my response to Mara's day off and lack of activity seems a little unbalanced. So I should put this into perspective. I took the van Saturday and had it inspected and the oil changed. It was six months past due for inspection. The oil change light has been on for at least that long. I've asked Mara repeatedly to get these things done. After all, she's the one that's home all the time. You would think that with that came certain responsibilities. In Mara's case, it does not.

This thing with the van is just one of many examples. The only time Mara shows any interest in the household or this marriage is when I get angry about all this shit and she realizes that she'd better show some interest. But she's learned that she can hunker down and the storm will blow over rather quickly, because I really don't like conflict. So she doesn't take me seriously at all, but just appeases me. So nothing ever changes. She doesn't hear any of my points. Any criticism of her is just criticism for its own sake.

In other words, you're not trying to get her to think about anything. You're just being an asshole. So yes, this is about more than just the van. I can suppress my anger and disappointment, but it's still there. And as much as I tell myself that Mara's not going to change and suddenly start giving a shit, and that if the marriage is going to work I had best make my peace with that, obviously I can't. What that means to us in the long run, I don't know.