I just received a call from Epes Transport. I missed it because I didn't recognize the number, and had sort of decided that Epes probably wasn't going to call me. Now I have to decide whether to call them back or not.

I had pretty much decided as of last night to get back into my big red box and drive for U.S. Xpress at least until Christmas. Not for love of USX, but simply because this is not a good time of the year to be making any major changes.

I really can't believe I'm saying this. When I thought about getting home every weekend, it really lifted my spirits. So I'm just sitting here pulling my hair out. I don't know what to do. Mara naturally wants me to get back in the truck. I think part of that is so that she doesn't have to drive to Georgia to turn in the truck.

Right now I realize that I've been putting aside all the issues that bothered me most about USX. Not getting paid for the FEMA stuff was just the final straw. It wasn't the only issue. But it's so easy to hope for the best. Especially now that some of our financial problems are going to be resolved.

I feel like I should make the break, but I can't decide whether that's simply my desire to come home speaking. It makes more sense to stay put, but my heart doesn't lead me in the direction. I guess that's it. My heart leads me in one direction while my brain leads me in another.

Well, Mara sent me a message this morning on her way to work and said that she had seen a USX truck pulling a rail container. If that's the “new direction” that USX is taking, it's probably high-time for me to move on.

I should call Seth and ask him. But I promised to call him today with a firm decision about whether or not I was going to leave the company. I still don't know what to tell him.