Bobby

I was just poking around with our PDA and, out of curiosity, looked to see if there might be a wireless network around here. Well, there is. The U.S. Xpress Drivers Network. It's a crappy connection, but it's a connection.

Anyway, I was trying to get onto different web sites. One of those web sites was Mara's (backlit.org). Her index page is her blog, so I read some of it to see what was weighing most heavily on her mind of late, and how she's dealing with all of the sudden changes. I really wish I hadn't done that. In reading I discovered that she has a thing going with someone named Bobby. She mentioned at one point that she's “so torn. I know what's right and will probably do that...but at what cost to myself?”

Ok, I thought at first that I wouldn't mention it. Mara will make whatever decision that she has to make. But if she wants someone else, she should go for it. Don't fuck around. Okay, so that's a bad choice of words. I hope it didn't come to that. But the fact that I'm sitting here feeling like I've been punched in the stomach says to me that this is something that needs to be addressed. In fact, this hurts. Maybe I'm not the ideal mate, but I don't deserve to be made a fool of. After the way Mama was treated by two husbands, I won't be left standing there looking like some desperate idiot. If Mara wants someone else, and she thinks her life would be richer elsewhere, then don't let the fucking door hit you on the way out.

Oddly enough a recent ZZ Top lyric comes to mind. “Just when I thought it was going so good.”