I just came in from work. I have a few minor things on my mind. Nothing major.

I just checked on Delphi, for some reason, to see if there were any more messages. Another has been added to the pile, making four in total which are waiting for me. I had almost decided to say the hell with it, and let the account go without seeing what those messages are, and yet I think in some way that I can't wander on my merry way without knowing who, what, and so forth. I think the last one is most likely from Kris. I ran into her some when I was on AOL for those few brief days, and it seemed that we parted company on less than favorable terms. She was terse in her e-mail and had little to say, really, and what she DID say had a bit of accusation laced in.

Oh, well. There are other things to think of now.

I have talked to Carmen a few times. She is, I think, serious about starting a band and playing places. I'm rather pleased with the thought myself, and have even gone as far as making the first preperatory arrangements to complete my bass cabinet. I've found a wonderful Lord of the Rings poster which I think I'll use on the back and I've located some very interesting images in the 1992 Boris Vallejo calendar (an interesting painting of three beautiful, bat-winged women among them). I think what I'm going to do is have the "Lord of the Rings" poster on the back and two images on each side, and I'll have to figure out what to do on top. All in all, this will make, simply, for a very personal statement. Just something that I can enjoy. A little beauty on-stage. And it will mean that no matter what music I am playing, or where it's being played, I will be able to look back and think “this is who I am and these images reflect my emotions.”

Ok. Maybe that's a bit dramatic. I'll enjoy it. That's what counts. :)

Well ... in closing ... I may or may not have mentioned opening a checking account. I think I did, but regardless I'll mark certain thoughts. It feels nice to have another account. It adds a bit of legitimacy to a life which has been listing
for far too long. And, perhaps, it also marks a return to responsibility.

I have paid on my NRI, Encyclopedia Britannica, and Frankin Mint accounts, with my own money, for the first time in quite awhile. The future doesn't look as dim as it did. Nor does the past. It often sounds contrived and the words often sound abused, but I am glad to be alive. For the first time in a very long while, that realization is enough.

It no longer matters where I've been. And it doesn't really matter where I may wind up. I am alive. And I have the moment. And I have my dreams. I will pursue my destiny. As ever. But I will live. And breathe. And learn.

While I search.