I am sitting here. Waiting. I have to pick up an order or something for Loretta and I'm waiting for the damned man to call. I was going to go see Rick, but I've been detained, as usual.

But I'm writing for other reasons. Christmas reasons. Gary gave me a present today. In and of itself, that's no big deal. But it has set into motion a few things which feel odd to me. Certain feelings. Emotions. I suppose this could be called Christmas spirit. Or, simply, hopefulness.

I feel good. A smile seems to be hiding. Waiting for release. It's a damned good feeling. Better than usual. A wonderful sense of joy and hope and life ...