Closed Door At Epes

I just got back from cleaning out the truck. It didn't take long. As I keep telling a few friends, it doesn't take long to pack when you've never really un-packed. Tomorrow after I pick up the rental car, I'll move everything out.

I tried to open up a dialogue with Epes, just on the off-chance that we could come to some sort of understanding and I could stay with the company. Yeah, I got pissed off at my dispatcher and I think he's an asshole, but I'm only hurting myself by leaving. So I can say that I tried.

I sent my dispatcher a few messages. Here's how it went.

“Keith, are you in today?” I asked him.

“10-4 KW” was his reply.

Everything that follows was from me.

“I wanted to apologize to you. While I think I made some valid points, I was still very unfair to you. I really don't know why I had such a melt-down Friday.”

“If I knew how to fix this and remain with Epes, I would. But I wouldn't know how to begin to offer my apologies to the company.”

“But I wanted to apologize to you, at least.”

That was it. After his initial response, I never heard another word from him. He didn't see fit to respond at all. I had sort of hoped that someone might write me back and say “Call me. Let's talk about this.” But no one did. And my fuck-tard dispatcher acted like a petulant child who had determined that he was not going to speak to me. I started to tell him “You know, basic good form would dictate a response, or at least an acknowledgement.” But I didn't. What did I really expect?

Anyway, it's rather clear that I have no avenues for resolving this problem with Epes. Apparently, once I told them I was bringing the truck back, they wrote me off. No discussion.

I don't know if I actually gave anyone the impression that I was trying to open up a dialogue with Epes by what I said, or if that qualifies. But anyone who knows me will have to admit that for me what I said was practically my prostration. For me that's a gushing apology.

Oh, well. This whole thing has caught me by surprise. But if this is the way it is, I'm glad to move on. I suppose it would make sense for things to work out like this. I would never take this kind of radical step with forethought. So perhaps in some larger sense this is me tripping into a new and better part of my life. I certainly don't mind the idea of moving on from Epes. Not that I have any real problem with the company (the fuck-tard aside). I just feel like this could be a good thing in the end.