Web Sites With Duct Tape

I just finished uploading updates to my blog. It's frustrating as hell the way I have to do it, but it works. My ftp server goes nowhere near where my web site lives. So when I update my blog via ftp, it winds up in one place. I have to download it via ftp, then re-upload it to the second location using my host's web interface. It's a big pain in the ass, and is largely the reason I'm looking elsewhere for hosting services. It's also why I'm looking for a dedicated server. I never had these kinds of problems when I was at the helm.

I'm winding down after some time off. I came in Saturday night and came over to Mama's yesterday morning. I should have gone back out this morning, but just couldn't bring myself to do it. Mostly because I'm going to work this weekend. I need a deep breath before I jump into that. I'm going to work the weekend to make as much money as I can. There are still some loose bills left over from the house. Plus the current bills are piling up.

I don't know if I mentioned it or not, but I cancelled my deal with Mark. I'm keeping the Thunderbird to myself and finding my own mechanic to work on it. I don't think Mark could understand this, but this is important to me for various reasons. Quite simply, I've lost just about everything. But I still have this beat up old car. I've had it for 22 years. I have to start rebuilding my life somewhere, and this is a good place to start. Plus, I need something to keep for myself. I can't share this. It's all I have. The idea of someone else driving it around just breaks my heart.

Well, I'm going to wander off. Tomorrow it's back to the machine. I didn't have the money to put any food on the truck, so I'll be eating out of the truckstops again. The company didn't pay back last Friday for the hotel expenses from two weeks ago. Given my advances, that meant I brought home $169. I brought home about the same the week before. Man. If I can just hang on. There's a $250 settlement payment on the utility bills from the house that's due now. I've scraped that together. But there's nothing else left. Once I get rolling I can get an advance to live off of. And since I've worked out the hotel reimbursements with the company and will get that money on my next paycheck, this week's paycheck will be a good one. And with working the weekend, next week's paycheck will be kick-ass. Hopefully from there on out, we will be moving in the right direction. We'll see.

As for the Thunderbird, a local mechanic shop will be picking it up to work on it. I don't know where we'll go from there. But I hope this will do the wonders for my spirit that I expect it to. Hopefully as I piece my old friend back together, I can start putting myself back together, as well.