Conservative Pussies

I did my semi-annual “Wicasta Lovelace” search on Google to see how much trouble I'm in. I came across a collection of comments on Conservative Underground about my post about Ava Lowery, the girl who received horrific e-mails and death threats because she dared make statements against the Iraq war and President Bush. In typical fashion, there was a lot of bluster. You know what I mean. You see it coming from these Conservative pussies all the time. They're like yappy little dogs who think if they can make more noise than the big dogs, it makes them badasses.

Anyone who knows me will be surprised by my use of the phrase “Conservative pussies.” I usually don't call people “pussies.” It's a childish word used on playgrounds by bullies. Which is largely the reason you see it on Conservative web sites so often. But Conservatives, like most bullies, are only bas-asses until someone knocks them on their ass.

Well, perhaps I should explain. What I'm trying to do here is respond to some of the things that were said about me on Conservative Underground.

“They want so badly to be victims that even if they aren't victimized, they make something up.”

While I hate re-tracing my steps, perhaps I should quote some of the things that these all-American, he-men had to say to the 14-year-old girl in question (and which prompted my post that they're responding to). Being angered by the following quotes means that someone is making up something to be victimized about?

“It’s people like you who need to fucking die and get raped while your corpse rots in the sun.”

“Fuck you, I would jack off on your parents if I could. If you don’t like the team, get out of the park. That means take ur small dick and get the fuck off of my homeland you faggot chocolate gulper.”

“Why don’t you go masterbate [sic] to a pic of Sheehan and fuck off.”

“You are a TRAITOR to your country and should be executed for treason.”

Sounds like a bunch of real mean to me? What about you?

“Please, you pussies couldn't win a fight with a one legged turtle.”

Unlike the real men on Conservative Underground? Or would you be referring to pussies like the ones listed below?

• Iraq Veterans Against the War


• Veterans Against the Iraq War


• Veterans for Peace

You live in a fantasy world if you believe that anyone who disagrees with supposed men intimidating a 14-year-old girl makes one a pussy. I've met your type before. I've looked you in the eye when I've stood between you and the woman you were about the hit. I've watched your ass disappear when the shit hits the fan after you've done something stupid. I've stood alone in a parking lot facing down a man with a semi-automatic weapon because when he came for you for sleeping with his wife, you ran. Yeah, you're a real bad-ass. Until the time comes for you to prove it. Then you're all talk.

“Oh my, a goat leggings wearing Medusa witch is going to be ‘waiting for me’.”

Sorry, Starbuck. I'm Pagan, but I don't wear goat leggings. I don't have any idea what the fuck a Medusa witch is. What I am is a 300 pound, 6'3" truck driver, who is more than capable of handling himself. I realize it's typical of Conservative pussies to post about their manliness on web sites, but come fuck with me. I'm sure you felt strong and powerful when you thought you were dealing with some mousy little woman. Come fuck with me.

I face down punks like you every day in truckstops. The ones who swagger through the doors expecting people to move for them. You always have to step around me, don't you? And you're never able to stare me down, are you? Yeah. I know you all too well. People can hear the snap as your dick shrivels up when you realize that you're not the biggest dog in the pen, and your usual intimidation tactics don't mean shit.

“I'll be willing to bet the scope on my 7mm Remington magnum will make YOU a better target than that necklace of shrunken heads around your neck will make of me.”

Typical Conservative Pussy bullshit. Oooo! Look at the real man. He has a big gun. He probably has other big guns in the rack behind the seat in his over-sized pickup truck that he never drives off of the asphalt.

I notice you'll be using your scope. The bravery of being out of range, huh? Too chicken-shit to get close enough to get hurt, huh? Why don't you quit being such a pussy and put your gun down. Get close enough for me to get my hands on you, and let's find out how much of a bad-ass you really are.

If you want to read more of what these Conservative pussies have to say, you can find their rhetoric on the forum at the Conservative Underground.

The post they're responding to is The Enemy is A 15-Year-Old Girl on The Watch.