I've been thinking about “the show” today. For those who don't know, I was approached some time back and asked if I would be interested in doing a reality TV show, based upon me and the whole reluctant truck driver thing. It went as far as a phone interview and the project being given the greenlight to go into pre-production so that a pitch could be made to cable network Spike Television. Then it pretty much dissipated and went away.

Personally, I never much believed, anyway. Why would someone want to base a realty show on me? Sure, I'm a decent looking guy and the frustrated writer/musician stuck on a truck angle would be different, but it just didn't seem to me that it would have enough testosterone to appeal to anyone.

Mama suspected that someone was just trying to impress me, like a guy handing a girl a business card saying that he's a producer. But to what end I can't imagine. Gay P_____, while very nice on the phone, made no overtures to that end (though she did seem to like my picture). No, in that regard it seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to contact a potential date.

So my take on it is largely that I didn't show enough interest in the project (assuming it ever existed at all). I know I was supposed to be blown away by the opportunity and all, and I'm supposed to yearn to be a TV star, but my main concern was how invasive it would be to have cameras following me around constantly. I also wondered how I could possibly write with a camera trained on me (Neima would not be pleased, much less Caldwell).

In the end, none of it really matters. My take on everything is very realistic. I'll believe something is real when it's before me. Until then it's all theoretical. So I might have been excited once the cameras were here. But until then, we were talking abstract ideas.

I haven't heard from Gay in a while. The exclusivity contract which was supposed to be sent to me never arrived. So I assume it was vapor from the beginning. No big deal. Nothing has changed for me. I'm still struggling to keep the house. And I'm still wondering if it's worth it. At the moment, this is my reality.