I just stopped at a rest area on I-64 west in Virginia. I stopped to situate 120 pounds (three 40 pound bags) of dry dog food and a tray of canned dog food that the consignee rejected this morning. Each of the bags had a hole in them, but were fine otherwise. The cans were just dented. I bought some duct tape, so stopped here to patch the holes and put the bags under my bunk. I'm tired of looking at (and smelling) them. The neighbor's dogs will eat good for awhile.

I've been thinking of ways to make extra money. It seems pretty clear that I'm not going to get much of anything by working the weekends. I've worked just about every weekend since Mara left, and I can't see that I've gotten much out of it.

The only obvious way to make a little extra money that I can think of is to give in and switch to being paid per diem. That would give me an extra $50 per week. At first that didn't seem like enough of a benefit to me to be worth the trouble come tax time, but that's $200 a month. Right now I don't think I have much of a choice.

The only other possibility is not extra money, but cutting expenses. One great drain on me is my insurance. Because Mara is on my insurance, I have a family plan, and that's costing me $86 a week. By removing Mara I could save about $50 a week and put another $200 in my pocket every month.

I need to remember to call payroll and ask what I have to do to change my insurance, and when I can do so.

Other expenses I can cut include cable television. Once Mama moves out, there's no point in having it. I won't be home enough to justify it. I've also been looking at hosting the web pages more cheaply. I will eventually need the speed and space of a dedicated server, but I don't need that right now. So I'm looking at alternatives, including parking some domains that aren't really bein utilized, like WindhavenNetwork.com and RollerBand.com. Max and Starla's sites might have to be parked for a little while, too. At least until I see if I can win this fight with Countrywide.

I feel pretty positive about things. I feel like I'm working toward something. It had never crossed my mind that I would wind up living in that house alone. But now I'm looking forward to it. It's been a long time since I've had a space that felt like it was mine. It's going to be hard, but my stubborn streak is coming out. This house is worth fighting for. Keeping it is really the only thing that I feel good about. All of the other options left a gnawing ache on my soul. I may be throwing away any chance of ever recording, but at least I can take comfort in the fact that at least this one time the powers-that-be were not able to steamroll me. Assuming that Countrywide doesn't have another ten dirty tricks to pull, I will be able to stand in that house, with or without furniture, and at least say “I'm still here, fuckers!”

Right now that's the only thing I'm fighting for.