Every time I think Mara can't do anything else to make my jaw hit the floor, she does or says something that blows me away.

First I should probably mention something she said last week, since she referenced our “spat” on her blog. I was telling her that I wished everyone would just leave me alone, that I was tired of hearing people opine that Mara shouldn't receive any money from the sale of the house because she's the one who left, etcetera, and that whatever happened between us, I wanted to be fair about things. She came back with the argument that she thought she was being fair, that her lawyer, Regina, told her that she could get alimony, but that Mara didn't want it.

What? Alimony? You're fucking kidding me! Mara leaves me for another man and already has a plane ticket to go spend some time with him in Las Vegas (which constitutes adultery since we're not even legally separated yet), and she has the nerve to bring up alimony? Of course, God only knows what Mara has told her lawyer about me and our marriage. Her friends all seem to think I'm a knuckle-dragging wife beater or something.

Anyway, Mara called today. In the course of the conversation, I told her that the guy was still trying to buy the house (this is the one offering only what we owe Countrywide for the house). Mara said that the reason she didn't want to sell the house for that is because if we sold it for more it would pay off some of her bankruptcy (I think she's hoping for all of it) and complained that she is going to have to pay on the bankruptcy for seven years. I didn't point out that I've offered to pay half of that bankruptcy payment.

I told her that I just can't keep up with this, paying $1,300 a month for God knows how long until the house sells. She said that she would rather sell it for more. I said “Yeah, no matter what it costs me.” She said she'd think on it and let me know her decision.

That blew my mind. When I hung up the phone my first thought was simply that Mara has no conscience. Whatever she might want to post about how difficult this is for her, it's all for show. Her actions contradict her statements. And she wonders why I think she's evil? Most non-evil people have a conscience of some sort. Mara doesn't give a shit if I get thrown under the bus or if it backs up over me again. As ever all Mara is thinking of is Mara. The rest us be damned.