I am such an asshole. I missed the 2nd annual Lovelace reunion with Allen and his family. I say I'm an asshole because I'm largely the reason they started having these reunions in the first place. I should have been there, no matter what.

Long story short, everything just went all to hell today. For one thing, we had a disagreement with Mama about when the reunion was. I thought it was on the 30th, but Mama thought it was on the 31st. That confused things.

But the largest factor was simply that we all felt like shit. Mara came in yesterday from work and immediately went to bed. She slept until the wee hours of this morning, and then went back to bed and slept until noon. She's felt really bad. I have, too. All I've wanted to do is sleep lately. I attributed that to trucker burn-out, where you've accumulated sleep-debt from not getting quality sleep or enough sleep period.

I really disappointed Allen. He called to ask where we were, and I realized that we had let the entire day get away from us. At that point there was no way we could get down to the reunion. I started making excuses, and Allen, though gracious, essentially was like “Okay, whatever. I have to go.” He was clearly disappointed. But I think not so much that we weren't coming. I think the disappointment was in me personally. Allen has tried to extend that familial hand to me and I haven't done very well in accepting it. I don't call him. I don't write him. I intend to, but I'm so caught up the gears of this truck driving thing (no pun intended) that I just never get off my ass and call or write.

I'll have to try to do better. And come hell or high water, if there's a 3rd annual Lovelace reunion, I'll be there if it's nobody but Allen and myself.