The last day. I'm trying not to be melodramatic, but I really feel like an axe is hanging over my head. I really don't want to leave home alone for God knows how long. I feel like we've paid our dues with U.S. Xpress and the trucking industry in general. I want to come home for good. I want to cut grass on Saturday mornings. I want to be a familiar face in local stores. I want to take detours on my way home from the grocery store just to poke around town. I want to belong. It's been so long since I've felt like I belong. I'm a driver and I'm tied to a truck. I belong in that mobile metal box. I'm tired of that. So tired.

It's Mother's Day. I've been so obsessed with the notion of hitting the road as a solo driver that I let it sneak up on me. So Mama didn't get any Mother's Day flowers, or a gift. What a self-centered asshole I am. I'll have to see what I can do today to correct this.