I'm piddling around on the computer, waiting for Mama to finish cooking breakfast. I didn't really want breakfast, but she was pretty intent on making me some. Hehe. So, ok. Mara is in bed. She laid down pretty early last night, but woke up after a while and stayed up playing Everquest. The inhibitors that were making her arm numb have finally worn off and now she's left with just the Vicodin. It's controlling the pain, but leaving her in unexpected discomfort. But I figure discomfort is better than pain, right?

After I eat I'm going to start getting some stuff out of the truck. If U.S. Xpress does like they usually do, once the truck is out of the shop they'll be pushing for me to go. I may not have time to do this afterwards. I probably should have already taken the truck up there, but it just hasn't been in the cards. Neither of us felt like it Friday. Volvo is closed on the weekends. Yesterday was Mara's surgery, of course, and it seemed more important to be here for her than to worry about that damned truck. So I'll take it up there today. If USX has a problem with it, they can let me know and I'll go back up clean the truck out. They'll know where to find it.

This'll be my fourth day home. According the USX' stated rules, I'm supposed to go back out tomorrow. Four days is the longest allowable time off without unseating your truck, no matter how long you were out last. For us, I know that we were out for at least six weeks. Somehow four days just doesn't do it. Hopefully having the truck in the shop will buy me a few days. But knowing the way our luck usually goes Volvo will have a slow week and it'll be ready tomorrow. Once it's ready I'm at U.S. Xpress' mercy, and they have never shown much inclination for sympathy toward drivers.

As I near the idea of going out and driving solo, I like it less. I've conned myself for a while now, trying to make it into some kind of adventure, or looking on the bright side and thinking "well, I can now write during my downtime." But the fact is that I just want to come home. I've been on the road for a long time. Now I find myself heading out alone, and I don't want to leave Mara. We still have issues, but things have seemed somewhat better between us. Removing the pressure of our dedicated run has helped a lot. But at this point I'm thinking that probably the best thing for our marriage would be to simply have a normal life and be home. I can't see how it's going to help if we're separated for weeks on end. And quite frankly, I can't imagine making enough money as a solo driver for U.S. Xpress to make it worth it.

I had talked about driving solo at least until Christmas. Now I'm not so sure that this will work for that long.