God Bless Maynard

I gotta remember to write Maynard and tell him my Tool story.

I was just going through some towns with a lot of stoplights (on US 301 through Maryland, heading toward Virginia). It was a beautiful day, so I had the windows down and Tool blasting. I didn't figure the sound reached much beyond the truck, so I wasn't bothering anybody.

Two girls pulled up beside me and kept looking at me and giggling. I figured they were laughing at the old guy jamming. What's not funnier to young people (especially pretty young girls) than an old guy listening to “their” music?

Anyway, quite out of the blue, the girl in the passenger seat turned around and put her butt in the window. Then she pulled her shorts down. I blinked to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing, but sure enough, there was ass across America. It took me a second to look up from the bare ass and realize why she had done that.

She had the Tool logo tattooed low on the small of her back, real low and just above her butt. But showed me her whole ass to show it off. I suppose the Tool logo was the reference and the bare ass was the reward for listening to Tool. I dunno.

Either way, I tooted my air horn, and watched with a big grin as the girls sped away giggling.

All I can say is “God bless Maynard”.