It always amuses me when I'm in the NorthEast how determined people are to avoid eye contact. Hell, human contact. This was very evident at a service plaza I just stopped at on I-476 in Pennsylvania. Just going in the door I startled a guy. He marched up there in yuppie fashion, determined to reach the door before me. I let him have it. Who cares? He didn't exactly hold the door for me as much as he pushed it a little wide so I could catch it and do what I wanted with it. I said “thank you, sir.” He paused just a beat. A burp in his programming. He had no algorithms that would help him deal with such an unaccustomed situation. So he didn't and made tracks instead.

That's pretty much how everyone up here deals with everyone else. As if they wished everyone else was not there. Or they seem to pretend that everyone else is there but they are invisible. And then there's me, who is going “Afternoon. How are you?” Scares them to death. Yes, I can see you.

It's no wonder they're all so angry. They're isolated. Dealing with other people is just something they have to do when they want something. Otherwise it's avoided. I'm not bashing Northerners. I just get tickled at their cultural quirks. I've heard casual conversations in New Jersey that would pass for a precursor to a fist fight in North Carolina.

I know that Northerners think we Southerners are, if not collectively at least disproportionately, simple or outright stupid. But there's something to be said for a culture in which if someone says “thank you, sir,” the normal is response is, simply, “you're welcome.”