Mara sent me a message and asked me if I am mad at her. I didn't respond. I'm not mad, actually. I'm disappointed and a little hurt. I won't get home until tomorrow. Today Mara told me she was going out with friends tomorrow night. Seems like that's all I hear from her. “I'm going out” with so-and-so. I don't necessarily begrudge her going out, but it's becoming a bit much.

I've been wondering lately if our marriage is dissolving before my eyes. It seems like it makes Mara mad when I come home on the rare weeknight. She doesn't seem particularly happy to see me on the weekends, and appears mostly indifferent to my presence when I'm there. If she's not going out with her friends she buries herself in Everquest. Her routine isn't affected at all by me being there. Not that I expect doting attentiom, but I could lie dead on the couch before she found me. And even then it'd be because she noticed my corpse while on the way to kitchen for something to drink.

We have problems. We need to talk about some things. I go home every weekend intending to, but I always let it go. All it would do is start a fight. Mara would climb up on her cross and spread her arms wide, the pupetually suffering victim. The time is fast approaching that I will have to decide if this marriage is worth saving. Right now I feel like the only thing Mara is contributing to the welfare of the household is a paycheck.

I've gone over all this before. Sooner or later, something is going to have to give.