I look over my last two entries and sigh.

I'm here, in St. Augustine, with Faith and the girls. I am in for the duration. I can't say things are wonderful because the moments come and go, but then I guess that's just a part of life and part of living with someone. The only real thing which bothers me is the fact that Faith internalizes everything. When she gets angry she gets spiteful and snappy.

I suppose this wouldn't bother me at all if I had done something to deserve the times I've been exposed to it. Scorch me if I've messed up, but leave me be if I haven't.

Faith was upset yesterday by her family. Things aren't going the way she, or I, might like in Albany. She was angry. At them. When I would hug her, she would pull away slightly. When I would kiss her, there was no response. I found myself on pins and needles because of the way she was acting, because I wondered if I had done something. But I suppose I'll have to get used to it.

As for other items. Well. Things don't look good. We still owe $250 on the rent. Paul sent back the check which Faith had used to pay for moving. That's another $200. Then there's to be the phone bill, groceries, car insurance, etc. Basically put, our asses are in a sling for the moment.

I've looked around in a very cursory way concerning employment. There doesn't seem to be much advertised in the papers. I called one place about warehouse jobs and found that I could possibly have a job paying around $9.00 an hour starting Monday, but the job is being handled through a job placement agency which wants $95 for their services.

So. What else did I expect?

Playing music and making art and all that other bullshit has been put on the back burner. As the saying goes, it is time to put away these childhood things. At least for now. I haven't the need for them, no matter what happens in the future. The present is the thing I have to concentrate on. I am no longer alone. There is a beautiful lady and two little girls to consider. Our fates are linked. Our lives are entwined. And the time has come to assert myself and see to these people, who have become my family.

I love her. And I love those kids.